...after seven hours of sitting behind the computer, trying to figure out something I'm obviously not capable of, but stubbornly doing it anyway, I really needed to get out. With my still white converse, pinky sweatshirt and polka-dotted scarf hidden under the dark-blue trenchcoat. I went for a walk, heading nowhere specific. Just walkin' by...
I took the tram, just two stations, then get off and dodged some strangers standing in my way. Waited for the green man and casually crossed the road in front of black Audi with some gentleman in tuxedo, that looked even more pissed than me, when the red man appeared again. I didn't speed up, 'cause I was just walkin' by...
I stopped for a while on the spot of photographers, quietly watching Charles bridge from another, less known one, enjoying soft, but cold touch of wind on my face and ignoring strangers rushing behind my back. I had time. I decided to have it, thinking about... stuff. And I continued, while I began to walk by again...
I've already knew this path, I've been here, done that, and memories popped up in my mind. I let them in, reflecting in melancholy while passing nice restaurant on the boat I've had my favorite pizza in... once. Once, with him. I was asking myself, how he is doing and trying not to, because I have bigger fish to fry. I risked one look through the windows, reminiscing how it was, then switched it off and walked away thinking about more uninteresting subject that is more important in this particular moment.
I explained the way to main station to slovak couple, smiled and left them alone to walk on their own. I was too distracted by my thoughts I went into dead end, that was already occupied by two young smokers. I didn't mind, I didn't look up, just took the only picture of Prague I did today and left the place, thinking about the hidden places of this beautiful city I didn't explore yet, regreting the missing camera. I wished I could have it with me. There are so many things, we regret, I realized...
I was just walkin' by, thinking about what I had to and almost regretted another thing. Fortunatelly it smelled sweet enough to bring me back from exploring hidden places of my mind. I found it. Found the gingerbread heaven. Gingerbread paradise. And again, I regretted I didn't have cash with me. Sad, but hopefull, I changed direction, now going with a purpose.
I was alone, but fine. I wanted that, wanted to be just with my thoughts. However I ended up in the Old city, lost in the crowd of foreigners, talking about everything and nothing. In spanish, russian, german, english. Different world and I smiled knowingly, when I understood their topics. I was alone, and wasn't at the same time, passing another backery that smelled too nice. So I just walked away. Again. Thinking about stupidity.
I appeared right in the heart of every tourist's interests, about five minutes before six. It was first time after four years I saw the horologe. Rolled my eyes and thought about stupidity again. It sucked. And I promised myself to not to waste time with this again. Neither anyone elses.
Why everyone is walking the same way every day? Doing the same stuff as everyone else? Where's the excitement that life offers? What's wrong? And why we still don't know that places and surroundings?
I was too afraid yet to try some new ways, so I looked up at least and started actually looking. I found pair of beautiful eyes, one attractively messy hair, cafe full of grown-ass men and women I felt so inadequate in between, but happy to found place crowded with people that are not talking about the newest fashion trend or school miseries but asking life-matter questions. I smiled and promised myself to come back.
Instead I walked into some mainstream cafe, paid for two macrons and cappucino to go, and place the coin I got back inside the pocket of trenchcoat. I had cappucino in one hand, bag with macrons in the other, and five crowns in the pocket. I found a bench I sit on and while sipping the coffee I was wandering, why I just did this. The coffee was too small and cost fortune, not worth the money at all. I could have better one from cafe somewhere in the hidden places. Nevermind. We did what we did...
I decided to go home. My head was full of new attitudes, thoughts, opinions, I simply couldn't handle any more of them, so I was just walkin' by ... heading home. My hands disappeared inside the pockets of coat, holding pin and coin as a hope and happiness. Why? I don't know. But I didn't drop them. Huh? Because there was this waiter, walking the same direction with the same speed. He was looking at me, curiously, I was looking at him the same way. And then the boundedness of place stopped him and I lost him behind the wall. I wished I wasn't that afraid. I wished I could be brave enough to drop the coin and pin and wave at him. Another regret to my list.
I sweared to myself, I won't allow that to happen again, searching for another waiter in other cafes I was passing, but there weren't anyone who were looking. Such a pity. I saw this two girls, dressed in red warm coats, reminding me of my dear cousin, as they were climbing on the metalic fence when one of them suddenly squaked something about rocking the spider. I smiled. And then my smile faded away as I was missing my camera, again. So I strenghten my grip and followed the footsteps of many before me, resigned to find nothing special, nothing new. And then it hit me again. The heaven of gingerbreads. Lucky me.
I had to go. And I did. I didn't want to regret anything else. So there I was standing, smelling and wandering, then using my last money for sweets. I smiled at seller anyway, changing pin for plastic bag with tiny colorful hearts and added another coin inside the pocket of my coat. Now I have gingerbread love to give and fifteen crowns until next pay-off. And I didn't care. Because I was walkin' by and thinking about hidden places of this beautiful city and my mind ...
I was thinking about my sisters whom the gingerbread loves belong to and I was guarding them with my body against the whole world. I was smiling while waiting for the tram and then someone else wanted to help. I smiled even more, eager to help and I did. I promised those philippians from Canada to guide them. There were more than ten of them, and one kind man, third in a row, asking me as well. We were joking while waiting for our trams. He thought and adviced me to be professional direction-shower right before he left and get lost in the crowd.
I waited a bit longer, surrounded by chit-chatting friends of the moment, gaining compliments and smiles. Nevertheless after a while, I was alone again. Just walkin' by and thinking about hidden places of this beautiful city and my mind...
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